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Hello everyone –

Well if you haven’t been following the blog, go back a few posts and see where we’re at, so I don’t have to recap, OK ?

Where I’m at now : I have to see a whole new doctor in September, and it’s giving me stress and anxiety.

Not sure if you’re familiar with this, but chronic pain patients, long-term ones, they normally have to change doctors many times, usually because the doctor either moves or quits their practice.

Explaining to a new doc my whole case is both taxing emotionally and a trigger for my anxiety. I can only pray this doctor allows my medications as they are at least, and then of course comes the question of my legal Medical Marijuana. Whether I will be denied opiates for my cannabis use remains to be seen.

Allegedly, according to the head nurse ,the CDC, who is now somehow suddenly in charge of all the doctors in the USA in regards to pain medication, they change their ‘findings’ on a weekly basis and therefore the doctor’s building cannot make a final decision. The nurse literally told me it depends on what day I ask.

Also, dentistry has been a major part of my life recently , as I’ve now lost 2 smile teeth this year. Isn’t looking good.

So now please understand the life of a chronic pain patient, who has recently been cut down to 1/2 their normal dose of pain medication and are expected to just “deal with it” and see our counselors. The madness surrounding opiates began this year, and it’s not letting up.

In addition, I am being forced to move. My landlord is selling the property and I have to move. I’ve been looking for a place for 3 months, with no realistic options being found so far. i was intending to find a place before winter begins, and I’m still trying.

Life since being cut down to 1/2 my dose has been challenging to say the least. I can no longer carry my fuel (propane) tanks which are necessary for my stove, and hot water tank. I can barely shop. I try to get out and walk around a bit as often as possible but it’s very difficult to walk very far at all. Yes, I can walk , and almost normally. However I can’t go very far. The worst is standing up in one place. OMG that kills me.

My lungs aren’t doing well as since I was cut down I once again began to smoke tobacco. I felt I needed it for emotional support, and something to ‘bite on’, to deal with the adjustment of medication. I have COPD as of 2009, and it’s not looking good.

I keep hoping this blog will live on past my days on Earth, so people could really find out what happened to me.

In the meantime, I’m alive and “dealing with it”. Very depressed lately. Thoughts of how hard it will be in the future for me almost send me into a panic. It’s bleak at best.

Just letting y’all know, it’s been extremely hard and it’s going to get harder. I appreciate all the support and well-wishers I have. Bless every one of them.



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